Pink Eye?
by singingrain
Summary: Tweek takes care of Craig's guinea pig. This cannot end well. Creek. Slash. Oneshot.


"But-but -ACK!- Craig! Why do I have to –GAH- take of Stripe!" Tweek cried frantically. "It's too much PRESSURE! I'll –ARG- kill him for sure!"

Craig flipped him off and continued packing.

"Seriously –GAH-! Craig! I don't wanna kill your –PRESSURE- hamster!" The blond boy, now shaking even more violently than he usually did, was slipping into hysterics.

Craig flipped him off again.

"Stripe is a guinea pig. And he might die, but not because you kill him. He's fucking old as shit."

"But-but he's your precious –ACK- pet you've had for –THE PRESSURE- eight years now!"

Craig sighed wearily while flipping Tweek off once again.

"I'm going to be gone one two days. Two days. Just feed him, give him water, and make sure he doesn't try to choke himself in the cage bars again. It's really not that hard."

"IT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek screamed, violently pulling on his hair.

Craig repeated his sigh and flipped Tweek the bird once last time.

* * *

><p>Tweek stared. He was determined not to lose.<p>

Beady black eyes holding no compassion stared back.

Tweek's head twitched, making him close one eye.

"NO!" Tweek screamed in frustration at the guinea pig in his cage. "I have to –GAH- look at you!"

Stripe crawled over to his food dish and plopped himself down.

"It was a –ARG- good thing I don't –PRESSURE- sleep too much," Tweek mumbled to himself. "But it's not helpful if I can't –ERG- keep my eyes open!"

Tweek grabbed his cup of coffee from his bedside table and took a long drink. This was going to be a long night.

Pretty soon Stripe went to sleep in his food bowl, ignoring the crazy-haired shaking teen staring at him like he was suddenly going to explode.

Tweek however stayed up, keeping a frustratingly one-eyed vigil.

* * *

><p>The sun eventually rose and after an hour of continued staring, Tweek mustered up the courage to approach.<p>

It was time to feed him.

"Stripe!" Tweek called, hoping to wake the pet up and get him to climb out of the bowl. "Stripe, please –GAH- move!"

Stripe however didn't wake up, and continued to lie in his food dish.

Tweek opened the top of the cage painfully slow, and stuck a shaking hand in. Jerking spastically, he reached towards the creature.

Slowly, so slowly. Closer and closer. Tweek's fingertip unwillingly grazed the guinea pig's fur because of his tremors.

"AH THE PRESSURE!" Tweek screamed, throwing his arm out of the cage and slamming the door closed.

He flung himself back onto his perch on the bed, and grabbed fistfuls of his hair, yanking it outwards. Curling up his knees, he rocked back and forth, still adamantly watching Stripe in his cage.

Another hour passed, more coffee was drunk, and Tweek gathered up his courage for another go.

Warily creeping up to the cage, he tried to steady his furiously shaking body to no avail. Upon reaching the cage, he once again dived his hand in agonizingly slow. Taking a deep breath and giving one more violent twitch and a "PRESSURE!" he clasped the immobile body of fur in his hand.

Left eye going wide and his right one furiously blinking, he moved Stripe and carefully and steadily as he could muster to the other side of the cage.

Stripe didn't move.

Tweek let go a giant sigh of relief and snatched the food dish. Grabbing the bag of weird pellets that just looked like smushed cardboard, he attempted to pour a little into the bowl.

"Jesus Christ!" He yelped after spilling half the bag on the floor. "ACK!"

Deciding to clean up later, he moved to place the dish that had somehow managed to catch some of the spilling pellets back in Stripe's cage.

Stipe still hadn't moved.

Tweek put the food dish back in the cage.

Still no movement.

Tweek brought his face close to the cage, closing in.

Still nothing.

The boy began to panic, and fumbled with the latch on the door before thrusting his hand back into the cage.

Poke, poke.

Stripe lay motionless.

* * *

><p>Craig flipped the blond off.<p>

"What did you say?"

"I –ACK- KILLED STRIPE! I KILLED HIM! I –GAH- TOLD YOU SO!" Tweek wailed, shaking an almost impossible amount, head twitching from side to side, blinking away rapidly appearing tears. "I'M SO –ARRG- SORRY! I KNOW HOW MUCH HE –PRESSURE- MEANT TO YOU!"

"Are you sure he's dead?" Craig asked, flipping him off again.

"HE'S DEAD, HE'S DEAD, HE'S DEEEEAAAAD!" Tweek latched onto scruffy hair and began to pull.

"He was pretty fucking old."

Craig went back to the unpacking he was doing before Tweek had burst into his room in a screaming fit. Tweek, noticing the boy's lack of emotion at the news, released his grip on his hair and started shaking less violently.

"Aren't you –GAH- sad?" Tweek asked, blinking away the rest of the tears he'd been holding back.

"I suppose.""

"-ARG- I'm sorry…" Tweek said, lowering his voice and walking jerkily up the boy.

"It's fine. Not your fault anyways."

A middle finger was lazily thrown up.

Tweek leaned down to where Craig was pulling out a pair of shoes from the bottom of his suitcase. He tried to slip his arms under Craig's to embrace him, but instead ending up smacking him in the face as a tremor shook his left arm.

"Fuck." Craig mumbled, flipping Tweek swiftly.

"Sorry!" Tweek cried. " I just wanted to –PRESSURE- give you a hug!"

Craig raised an eyebrow.

"Cuz that's not weird or anything," he said sarcastically.

"It's not!" Tweek shook his head fervently. "I just –ACK- wanted to make you feel better!"

"It's ok, dude. I'm fine."

"NO!" Tweeked leaped, grabbing onto the other boy and threw his arms around him in a death grip. "I'm going to make you –ERG- feel better!"

"Ok, ok, I get it," Craig started, trying to flip the bird but both hands being trapped awkwardly and painfully between the their two bodies. "You're making me feel better."

"YES!" Tweek let out exuberantly. He then jerked his head back and brought it back forwards directly towards Craig's.

Craig, being trapped and now slightly confused, didn't move as Tweek's mouth came crushing down on his own.

Teeth cracked together, but the blond pushed forwards, even as Craig muttered a "fuck" into his lips from the pain.

Tweek's perpetual shaking caused his lips to dance around Craig's own instead of staying firmly planted in the right spot. Tweek willed himself to stay as still as possible, and managed to slip a little lick on Craig's upper lip. As he did so, he raised his hands to grip the other boy's head, releasing the vice-like body hug.

Craig registered the slick wet appendage against his top lip amusedly. Finally having his arms free, he flipped a double bird to no one in particular and reciprocated by diving into Tweek's jerking mouth, hoping the boy wouldn't accidently bite one of their tongues off.

* * *

><p>"I hope you don't cheer up everyone the way you did me," Craig mused, opened the door to Tweek's room to pick up Stripe's cage.<p>

"Jesus Christ, no!" Tweek exclaimed frantically. He then screamed out of nervousness, "I L-LIKE YOU!"

Craig nodded coolly and walked over to the cage holding Stripe's body.

Stripe's supposedly dead body.

Which was most decidedly moving.

Tweek's attention was drawn to the moving form in the cage, and he screamed bloody murder.

"ZOMBIE! Craig –ARG-! Stripe's a zombie!" He began freaking out.

Craig let a microscopic smile slip onto his face and reached in and pulled his pet out of the cage. He then stuck his arm out towards Tweek, raising the guinea pig towards his face.

"Maybe he just had Pink Eye."


End file.
